Dil Se Desi

One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand Out Of Window?
You Are in SYDNEY ?

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One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand On Horn?
You Are in JAPAN ?

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One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand On Newspaper,
Foot Solidly On Accelerator?
You Are in BOSTON ?

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Both Hands On Steering Wheel,
Eyes Shut,
Both Feet On Brake,
Quivering In Terror
You Are in NEW YORK ?

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Both Hands In Air,
Gesturing,
Both Feet On Accelerator,
Head Turned To Talk To Someone In Back Seat?
You Are in ITALY ?

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One Hand On Horn,
One Hand On Holding Gear,
One Ear Listening To Loud Music,
One Ear On Cell Phone,
One Foot On Accelerator,
One Foot On Clutch,
Nothing On Break,
Eyes On Females In Next Car,

WELCOME TO INDIA

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?” he asks solemnly. “Yes I do” she replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?”

“Yes! I remember” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. “Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years?”

“I remember that too” she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,

“I would have been released today!”

Letters ‘a’, ‘b’, ‘c’ &’d’ do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
(Letter’d’ comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters ‘a’, ‘b’ & ‘c’ do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999
(Letter ‘a’ comes for the first time in thousand)

Letters ‘b’ & ‘c’ do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
(Letter ‘b’ comes for the first time in Billion)

And

Letter’c'does not appear anywhere in in the spellings of entire English Counting

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

If at first you don’t succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.

He who has the gold, makes the rules —- Murphy’s golden rule.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

If you have paper, you don’t have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don’t have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

Especially for engg. Students—-
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other .

If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker